A Good Week

This is my week before my 3rd treatment (WooHoo!!) on Friday. This is the week when I feel the best of all of them. I had an OK weekend - other than a stomach thing that I won't bother you with - and even managed to get some of my house cleaned. My husband did most of it even though he had dog trials all weekend. Isn't he great!? He's the best wife a woman could have! I find that I get fatigued so easily now. I used to be able to clean the bathroom all at once. But Sunday I had to clean the tub and take a break. Then the toilet and take a break. Then the sinks and take a break. It was ridiculous!
So I went to lunch on Saturday with my good friend, Lynne, and she told me that I looked good. And I expect that she would tell me the truth. But when I look in the mirror I DO NOT look like Wendy. And it's not just the missing hair. It seems that my eyes are baggier (is that even a word?) and my skin is yucky looking. I look very tired. And I really sleep pretty good. The ladies on the message boards complain about not being able to sleep but I truly have had litle issues with sleeping. But back to the way I look. And please don't think that I am saying this so that people will tell me "you look great!" I am writing this because it is how I feel. I am writing this entire blog because I have to have a place to get these feelings out or I'll go nuts!
I look terrible! I'm not Wendy anymore. I know I am no beauty queen anyway but I always thought that I was at least average looking. Now you could throw me in a pond and skim ugly for a week!!! And I know its because I'm sick. I look older also. And I really didn't need any help there. Every year that goes by the wrinkles become more prominent! I hate wrinkles!!! And yes, I am extremely vain! I know it. It is one, of many, of my bad personality traits. I find myself not meeting the eyes of people when I am out and about now. I keep my head up but I look past people - I think maybe because I don't like to see the pity in their eyes. Or the shock at no hair. What's kind of funny to me though is when I see someone and they talk to me like nothing is different and you know they are thinking, "She's bald! Wonder why she's bald?" But yet they keep on talking like nothing is wrong. And I know they just don't know what to say. But I'd really rather them say - "Hey, What's up with you?" So there it is - I am increasingly depressed about the way I look. But its OK. I won't look this way forever.
So this Thusday is Valentine's Day. When you've been married a long time you tend to take each other for granted and not do the romantic things as much as you used to. So, it was funny when I asked my husband if we could go to Ichiban (for those that don't know this is a Japanese steakhouse where they cook in front of you and you sit at a table with loads more folks - no privacy) and he said sure! And we even discussed who we could invite to join us! But sometimes its kind of nice to go out with other folks, even on VD, because if you go out alone you end up talking about the kids, or money issues, or something very unromantic anyway. So, we will be at Ichiban if anyone wants to join us! We figure the more the merrier!
Hey guys, thanks for letting me vent again. Hopefully, it won't be as boring in a few days. I'm guessing that there are loads more Blog posts that are more interesting than this one. But actually I'm very glad its boring sometimes. That just means that my cancer is not getting the best of me - even though its seems like it sometimes! I will WIN in the end - Lord willing and the creek don't rise!