Chemo kills.

Let me start out by saying that so many women are still alive today because they have done chemo for their breast cancer.  But let me also say that lost of people are dead today because of their chemo.  Chemo is bad fruit, man.  It kills bad cells but it also kills good ones.  My surgeon said its like trying to kill an ant with a hammer.  You may kill the ant but the wall will have lots of holes.  It took me at least a year to feel normal after chemo.
I hated chemo.  I can remember saying that if I ever got cancer I would NEVER do chemo.  Never say never.
Last night as hubby and I were lying in bed he said, "I'm worried about you."  I said, "I'm OK.  I have good days and bad days just like everyone else."  But he knows me and knows that even though I do not KNOW for sure that I have anything to worry about that I am still worried about the spot in my lung.  I have to say that I am mostly concerned about it because it wasn't there 3 months before.  And people say that it could be leftover from an illness but I haven't been sick.
Anyway, I digress.  He told me that I could talk to him and I told him that I know that.  But what I didn't tell him, at least not yet, is that IF the spot turns out being cancer my biggest worry is not that he will be sad about that but that he won't understand if I choose not to do chemo again.  Will he understand that?