What's been happening.

I had a breast revision on 9/18/12.  My new foobs are beautiful!  They are exactly what I wanted.  My plastic surgeon is a genius!
I finally saw my oncologist and gave him a list of symptoms I have been having and from that and seeing my plastic surgeon I had a CT scan and am scheduled for a brain scan next week.  My CT scan came back OK but with "mild cardiomegaly".  After looking this up I am convinced that this OR hyperthyroidism could be my problem.
Anyway Dr. Huffman, my oncologist, raised my anti-depressant from 10mg to 20mg in hopes that it will improve my mood.  We'll see.  He also listened to me and told me why this time has been so much harder on me than last time.  He reminded me that so many women get BC that the first time I was "part of the crowd" or "one of the many".  But this time....recurrence is NOT the norm....it doesn't happen to all the women and it means that I will have to look over my shoulder for the rest of my life.  Kinda put it into perspective for me.  If this is gonna be the new normal then maybe I can live with it.  Hmmm?
So due to the daily headaches and the vertigo he is getting me a brain MRI.  I've never had one of those.  Do you think they will at the very least find a brain?
Will report back to the class later.

Stage 2

Next week is Stage 2 in my reconstruction.  It is a day surgery where they will perform liposuction on the parts of my breasts that are not symmetrical.  They may also tackle some fat necrosis.  I will be  in and out that day.   I am looking forward to getting the hamburger buns out from underneath my arms.  And he will raise the left one so that it is aligned with the right one.  May be the first time in my life that they will be symmetrical.  Weird.
I am doing better, overall, but still have more bad days than good.  I also have an appointment with my oncologist next week and I will talk to him about feeling bad, headaches, hand tremors, etc.  All the things that are freaking me out and the fact that I stay freaked out all the time now.  I am hoping he can help.
I wonder if I am depressed because I feel bad all the time or if I feel bad all the time because I am depressed.  Chicken or the egg?