Chemo and weight

When I first found out about the cancer and I started researching all the parts and pieces of treatment I discovered that alot of women going through chemo will GAIN weight. How could that happen, I wondered? Talk about insult to injury! And as I have discovered.....this awful fact is very true. And I read on the message boards that the onc. nurses encourage the women going thru chemo to eat and eat alot! No problem there since we have to try to find things that taste OK as our taste buds are weirded out due to the chemo!!
I am an emotional eater - always have been - and when something life-altering happens to me I find that I either eat everything in sight or I stop eating altogether. Unfortunately for me, most of the time, I eat everything in sight. But, back in college when my 1st grandmother died I found that I just stopped eating. In my sadness I just couldn't find the strength to even eat. Too bad this feeling didn't stay with me!
Last January (2007) I decided that I needed to lose weight and started exercising (more) and eating better. And within about 5 months I had lost 24 pounds. And I felt great! And I looked better than I had in a while. And I still worked at maintaining that and had planned to continue to maintain - even though I really wanted to lose more weight. And then my father died. And I found comfort in food during that period and put on a couple of pounds. Oh well, I thought, its only a couple......I'll be more diligent. And then I was diagnosed with breast cancer. And the eating began. Now I have put over 1/2 of that weight back on and am feeling more than a little disgusted at it. Not only do I feel unattractive because I have no hair but now I have put on the extra weight and that is NOT helping the situation. I am in a vicious cycle now - feel bad because I look bad so I eat and then I feel bad because I have put on weight which makes me look and feel bad and so on and so on. Now you see my problem. I know, I know.....this will be over soon and I can get back to exercising like I want and eating better and can take that weight off again - I hope. The older I get the harder it is to do.
I went to have my white blood counts done today and they were the lowest they have ever been. So.....you guessed it........another Neupogen shot. I was so mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyway.....Tom shaved my head again last night. It is growing but growing in patches - he even said, "It's growing on the left side but hardly any on the right side." So, until it can grow uniformly I will continue to shave it - or have Tom shave it for me. To be quite honest with you it feels so good when its freshly shaved. I know that's weird but its true.
So, I'll let you know how the Neupogen shots affect me this time. Hopefully, they won't bother me at all. That's what I am praying for anyway! And I'd appreciate all your positive energy sent my way also!!! Thank you!!