What I think

So I thought I'd start telling myself, when I start feeling sorry for myself, the following:  "Right here, in this moment, I am cancer free."
Then I thought, but how do I really know that?  Then I thought, can any of us really know that?  And then I realized that I can no longer trust my body.  It has failed me.  I don't recognize it anymore.  It's like I'm living inside someone else's body.  And I don't like it or trust it.
This moment.....this moment.....this moment.....what can I do beyond this moment?  Absolutely nothing.
Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!!!!  I'm seriously losing it.