Normal

I guess its normal for folks who have been through a life altering experience to begin to question their lives and why they do certain things. Since being diagnosed with cancer and especially since reading "A New Earth" I have become increasingly dissatisfied with working at my job. Not necessarily because I don't like my job - which I do (most of the time), and I am certainly blessed to even have a job, but more because I would rather spend my time on this earth, in this life, doing other things. When I first began treatment I started talking to my husband about selling our home and moving into a double-wide on a large plot of land and getting that dream land that we have always wanted. He smiled and said, "Let's wait and see what happens and get through all of this first." He was right, of course, but I still find that I am ready to put away some of the "stuff" of this world and our lives. It used to be that I wanted to be the best in my job and wanted to make lots of money and blah, blah, blah. Now, those things just don't seem to matter much anymore. I just want to spend time with my family, and my dogs and do those things that I find interesting and more fun. I have become indifferent to alot of things - passive almost. I'm not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. It just is as it is. Don't get me wrong. I feel very blessed to have all that we do. I just don't need it that much anymore.